All across the South of England on Friday 26 March there could be heard the sound of attics being rooted through as the MMC trad climbers sought out the gear that had lain unloved and unwanted over the winter. Having blown the dust off the wires and applied copious amounts of WD40 to cams (safety tip, don’t oil the jaws themselves) the MMC bumped and rattled up the rutted track towards the Thorpe farm bunkhouse near Hathersage. This bunkhouse was very comfortable and a great improvement on some that we could mention, Meet Secretary please note. Nick, Clare and Steve Melvin were among the earliest arrivals who took the opportunity to take some of the others there down to the pub for a sharpener before turning in.

On the Saturday morning there was a great flurry of activity as various climbing teams tried to make an uncharacteristicaly early start for Stanage.

Nick and Steve went to the plantation end of the crag and did Wall End Slab direct and a few other VS climbs. It was quite chilly and blustery on the top of the crag so they decided to set up a top rope on Goliath’s Groove (HVS) which they practiced a number of times, gradually improving their foot jamming. They then top roped the protectionless Archangel (E3 5b) and Don (E4 5c).

Rob Brooks and Dave Faff partnered for a day's "let's start the outdoor season gently" session.  With an odd number of climbers on the meet, they were joined by Pete Staff.  At Stanage, Dave lead Holly Bush Crack (VD) as a warm up, scampering up like a mountain goat.  Rob lead Flying Butress (HVD), as his warm up Pete led Right-hand Trinity" Severe 4a*. Robert had the job of belaying while Faff had the job of giving step-by-step instructions on how to lead. Despite at one stage clipping the protection to himself rather than the rope (and hence being unable to go upwards) Pete did manage to eventually scrabble bravely to the top leaving Robert and Faff nervous wrecks from the experience of viewing the ascent. That and the fact that it was bloody cold sent them down to Outside for a tea.

Matt Fennelow went to Stanage, High Neb with Ivone, Cath and Andy. It was cold and damp – ideal for Ivone’s first experience of UK climbing. Still, they persevered and climbed six routes around VS. Ivone did her first UK lead up a particularly wet V Diff and Matt rediscovered the issues he has with off-width cracks. Then back to the hut via the Outdoor café.

AG and Nik were among the few not climbing on Saturday and went cycling. They did the Ladybower circuit after a big fry-up at the station café in Grindleford. Very muddy and slippery (don’t know if this was meant to refer to the breakfast or the route). Highlights, Nick displayed some excellent trick riding. It goes like this, you ride into a deep tractor tyre rut and then clip your pedal and do a summersault over the handlebars and throw the bike away at the same time! Neat! He’s working on the landing. Of course AG couldn’t let him show off like that, so he chose a slippery bit of steep muddy tarmac to display his skills at pedaling furiously while going nowhere and then gracefully keeling over.

Barry did a tour of a number of the edges (Stannage, Burbage, Millstone) after breaking fast on a mountain of chips at Grindleford. Had a boulder but it was just too cold for him to enjoy himself.

Catherine Bilson and Andy Smith went somewhere like to High Neb. They did some  S's & HS's & possibly an HVS but it was very cold & Catherine was very moany about not being able to feel her fingers & didn’t climb very well at all. Andy was climbing very well, apparently.

Andy Etheridge and Cheryl had spent a peaceful if dull morning on the M1 for 5 hours in the aftermath of various collisions but they still fitted in a gentle cycle around Ladybower.

Matt, Steve Morrish and Steve Gandy also spent Saturday at Stanage. Steve led Hollybush Crack (a trip down memory lane as this was his first lead back in 1988) and Black Hawk Traverse Left. Matt led Grotto Slab and Black Hawk Traverse Right (They tackled this despite a warning from another party that it was s**t.  It was.  The holds in the final chimney were polished and what wasn't polished was green and slippery.  Nevertheless, it succumbed to traditional tactics - Matt led it facing outwards whilst bridging and Steve used both his knees!)

Later some ended up in the curry house. Apparently Steve “Ex-Army” Gandy was rejoicing in a story about being boarded by the Norwegian Navy. Sounds fun.  Miguel had the Tindaloo (E6 6b, like a Vindaloo except that the waiter gives you a tip for eating it) because he'd forgotten his sleeping-bag and needed something to keep him warm at night - he declared of the Tindaloo, "I like it, I like it very much". It didn't help though - he didn't get much sleep apparently.  Then the Curry party retired to the Little John for a beer and to nick Nick's fags. Gradually most of the meet ended up in the Little John where we witnessed England’s humiliation against France.

On Sunday Rob sloped off early to Leicester with the original excuse that he was going to buy a factory.

Steve and Faff headed for High Neb Buttress which was even more freezing than Friday. Depending on which guidebook you read they climbed VS4cs or 5as and had time to knock off "High Neb Buttress", "Norse Corner Climb", "Inaccessible Crack Direct" and "Tango Buttress". They were just about to do "Quietus" E2 when Mr Kemp rang on his mobile and told Steve that if he wanted a lift down to London he'd better get his arse down to the car park. Faff considered staying soloing "Quietus" but it was a little chilly.....so he went back to the hut and brewed tea with AG before he cycled off to the railway station with a pair of boots strapped to his rucsack that someone had left behind (who???). Faff drove back to Ilkley (while Nick et al was probably stuck in a jam somewhere[true]).

Nick, Andy and Krusher Krassowski went off for a strenuous and muddy ride around the Ladybower area. Krusher crushed his rear shock at some stage so he used the excuse to sugar off to Hathersage and join Rebecca and James in Baked Beans. Meanwhile the doughty pair of Andy and Nick plugged on through Somme-like mud. Cheryl and Clare had opted for a more gentle cycling experience by the reservoirs, however such prudence was not rewarded as Cheryl ended up going over the handlebars onto her (unhelmeted) head while trying to stop and retrieve a dropped pair of shades.

Catherine and Andy Smith went to North Burbage on the Sunday where it was also very cold & extremely windy on the top but they still managed to do a few routes before retiring to the tea shop. Barry took Nick, Caroline and Miguel on a circular walk out of Hathersage along the Derwent up over and around Shatton and Ofteron. Pete Staff joined Matt Morrish and Steve Gandy at Stanage where Steve led Flying Buttress.  This was his fourth lead of this climb according to the ticks in his guidebook. 

Matt Fennelow having had the previous day’s enthusiasm knocked out of him had a later start and went off to Bamford North with Ivone and AG. Drier but windier, and therefore colder, than Saturday. They did a V Diff crack to warm up and promptly spent the next hour trying to retrieve a piece of gear. AG later demonstrated that he shouldn’t have bothered with the gear in the first place by soloing up and retrieving it for him. After all this faffing around in the cold, they did one more route before taking shelter in the café.

And so ends the first climbing meet of 2004. I think a good time was had by all and thanks very much to all the contributors who have certainly made the task of the lowly scrivener much easier.

NK