Patrick deserves special thanks for putting it together and basically being the only leader out of the four of us.

The little bit of climbing we (I at least) did was great.

The weather started a bit inauspiciously.

I landed in Carcassonne Saturday, and it looked worse than when I left London.

Sunday I picked Tui up, driving through a ****storm on the way.

Then we made it up to Patrick's place in the middle of nowhere.

Lesson #1: there really is a middle of nowhere in Europe, and France occupies a large portion of this territory.

Lesson #2: old mediaeval houses in the middle of nowhere are haunted at night, especially when the lights don't really work and you're there essentially alone.

Monday Tui and I went for a walk up into the Gorge d'Eric. Very pretty. Very easy (the path was paved. Not really a path, since cars go up and down. Then again, it's not a road I'd want to take my car up!)

The terrain reminds me a bit of red rocks in las vegas - only a bit more wet, a little bit more green. But similar rock styles, with lots of towers and weird formations on what aren't really solid cliffs but - massive lumps of sandstone (not sure what the rock was in Languedoc, but there were similarities to sandstone). Similar flora; lots of scrub and small trees, no giant hardwoods or anything.

We made it up to the little café at the end of the trail, which looked just like the little farmstead in deliverance. I heard dueling banjos but I think that was in my head. I very thankfully did not hear anyone squealing like a pig.

Right as we finished lunch at the care it started ****ing down rain. Thankfully that 20 minutes was all the serious rain we saw all week.

Patrick got in around the time we got back to the house.

Tuesday he led us up some 4-5 pitch climb all of which was very easy. Although very easy, it was still good to get out and get some sense of exposure and just get climbing outside again. For Tui and Simon it was their first time climbing outside.

Tui also gets an award for needlessly scaring the **** out of her climbing companions. On the last pitch, Patrick started off from the anchor, went over the top and traversed across a little gap, then up and over to the walk along the top. On the way he commented about the step across the gap and then the move to getting up and over to the top.

Tui followed, and consequently **** her pants crossing the gap and then going up over the top. She did not actually **** her pants, nor do I think she had a major problem with any of the exposure (although she did comment about it while prepping for the last move).

Having expressed my personal candy***ness, however, when it comes to exposure, tui made absolutely sure to relay what a GINORMOUS and DELICATE step crossing the gap was. Specifically, the words were something like 'oh man if you don't like heights you're screwed.'

To which, given the layout of the anchor, we could not see anything of the traverse, nor could we really see anything looking down. All we had was empty space behind us and the knowledge we were a good 300-400 feet up in the air.

Needless to say I started to **** my pants.

Upon which I went up over the anchor (following the route of the traverse), got a look at things, and thought 'what a load of ****!'

The rest went pretty easy, and Simon followed without a problem.

I thought it was a fantastic climb - good sense of exposure, nothing too hairy to really wig anyone out, nice views, pretty area, good people. a bit slow, but one leader and three followers and that's what you get.

The next day we got something of a sub-alpine start, hitting the rock at something like 2:00 in the afternoon. I'm not sure Simon and Tui really understand what 'alpine start' means exactly.

Tui led the first pitch of easy sport climbing. Patrick followed, and simon followed him. I brought up the rear and completely candy ****ed an admittedly easy climb. Then again, I brought up the rear, and pretty much half of everything we carried that day, which did not make for easy or comfortable climbing.

Tui then led a 6a? sport climb? Not bad for her third climb outside and second sport lead ever!

Simon led his first sport lead too.

Patrick and I then spent the next 40 minutes wondering what the other two were faffing about at the top of their respective climbs, which were next to each other and thence prompted them to share anchors. Needless to say, Patrick and I (well I at least, Patrick never admitted as much) froze our ***s off waiting.

The abseil down was interesting as I went first to back up the others with a firemen's if needed, and found out what real adventure abseiling is all about as I lowered myself onto a giant holly tree and spent 10 minutes getting the rope out of and around the tree. And the tree in places it doesn't belong in a human body.

That was it for me as the next day I had to return my car. As such, I can't speak for how Patrick, tui, and simon fared the next two days.

I wanted to stay but I couldn't get hold of the car company to extend the rental. Or actually, I got hold of two of the car companies which I contracted with and sub contracted the sub contract, but not the one which did the original subcontract.

Rather inconveniently I also got a case of the ****s that morning, suggesting perhaps that French water is not always to be trusted. Apparently Montezuma is the spirit which haunts patrick's vacation house.

It should also be mentioned each night featured good cooking of local produce and good wine of equally local produce. Definitely a place to go back to!

For my part, I really enjoyed my time in Carcassonne. Very pretty town, the castle is very well preserved and restored. They do a really nice job for the tourons. Unfortunately as nice as the town is, it can be entirely seen and experienced in 2 days. After returning the car I had 4.5 days till my plane left.

Lesson #3, which devolves from lesson #1. you absolutely do need a car to get around nowhere Europe, aka southern france. Apparently they run a good train service for the tourons during the summer, but try going anywhere interesting in southern france by train in October! I did, and it didn't work so well. Or at all, in certain instances.

Then again, from what I saw of the area, I very much would like to go back and experience it more. I will just be sure to have a car to get around with first.

Michael Cartine